I recently made a big decision: I hit pause on The Big Meet – an event I’d been running for over 200 HR professionals for the past three years.

From the outside, that might look strange. It was successful, high-profile, and had real impact. Why on earth would I step away from something like that?

Simply put, because I realised I was in danger of losing myself.

And that’s exactly why I want to share this story with you – not to make it about me – but to help you see how you too can make bold, intentional moves in your career (even when they don’t make sense to anyone else).

Here are the three foundational shifts that helped me:

1. Separate Who You Are from What You Do

For years, my identity was wrapped up in my work. I loved HR from the moment I decided at 16 that it was what I wanted to do. I worked hard, climbed the ladder, and felt proud of being seen as capable.

But at some point, that pride turned into pressure. I found myself:

• Working all the hours
• Thinking about work even when I was with my daughter
• Sacrificing friendships, joy, and presence in my personal life

When your sense of self becomes tied to your job title, you stop living as a whole person.

So how do you separate who you are from the work that you do, when you’ve been operating that way for a long time? The easiest way to start getting a handle on this is to know what matters most to you. Simply put, what are your values?

Freedom is one of mine, and when I checked in with myself, I realised I wasn’t living it. I had the “freedom” of being my own boss, but if I couldn’t rest, be present, or enjoy life because I was always “on”, was that really freedom?

Here’s where you start: identify your core values and check whether your career aligns with them. If it doesn’t, that misalignment will always feel heavy.

2. Learn to Trust Yourself (and Redefine Confidence)

When I thought about pausing The Big Meet, my brain went into overdrive:

• “You’ll be irrelevant”
• “You’ll fail”
• “You’ll lose your business…then your house and you’ll end up destitute and alone”

Sound familiar? That’s fear-based thinking. It’s quick, catastrophic, and loud.

But underneath it, I could hear my intuitive voice. Quieter. Calmer. Saying: “You’ll be okay.”

That’s where confidence comes in. It’s tempting to think confidence is the absence of fear. It isn’t.

Confidence is the willingness to try, with the faith that you’ll be okay whatever the outcome.

You build it by doing the thing, proving to yourself you can survive it, and then stacking that evidence. That’s how you grow your confidence muscle.

So the next time your brain catastrophises, write down your fears. Say them out loud. Get perspective. Then listen for the softer, steadier voice underneath.

3. Remember: You’re Only One Person

This year threw a lot at me – running events, managing my business, being a mum, supporting my husband through redundancy, navigating family illness. And like many women in HR, I tried to juggle it all.

But the plain fact of the matter is this: you can’t do everything. You’re a whole person with multiple roles and responsibilities, not a one-woman HR department (well, OK, you might be a one-woman HR department but you know what I mean – and frankly that makes it even more important that you lean into remembering you’re only one person).

We’ve been conditioned to believe that saying no is unsafe. That boundaries make us difficult. That if we don’t hold it all together, we’re failing.

It’s not true.

Here are some practical ways to start:

• Use the “yes, subject to…” script. “Yes, happy to help, subject to what you’d like me to deprioritise.”
• Ask for help. Communicate your needs. Stop absorbing everyone else’s problems.
• Redefine self-care as energy management, not just the occasional bubble bath.

Boundaries aren’t selfish; they’re what allow you to be present and effective across all the parts of your life.

The Bigger Picture

On the outside, pausing The Big Meet might not make sense. But here’s what I already know:

• I’m more present with my daughter
• I have more headspace and energy
• I feel aligned with my values again

And that matters more than keeping up appearances.

So, if you’re sitting on a decision, whether it’s leaving a toxic job, asking for flexibility, or even walking away without something else lined up, know this:

Only you know what’s right for you. And you already have the clarity and capability to act on it.

Start with these three shifts:
✨ Separate who you are from what you do
✨ Build confidence by acting, not waiting
✨ Stop carrying the weight of a whole department alone

Because life is bigger than your work. And you’re more than your job title.