Ahhh, February. Firstly, how the heck is it February already? And also, how is it only February? Does time even exist anymore?!
Of course, February is the month where we celebrate Valentine’s day. Many a year I’ve felt the impending doom of the event, my perpetual singledom masked by my external apathy (who’d want to be tied down anyway?!). Now, an old married woman, I’m lucky if we even notice the date’s gone by a few months after 😉
Isn’t it a lovely thing though, to have a whole day dedicated to love? That beautiful thing that’s so hard to define but you just know when it’s there. Love between people is a connection, something that binds us together. Unseen but all encompassing. Enigmatic but universally understood. Connecting us to our partners, our friends, our family, each other.
Connection is a fundamental principle of One of many ®, the organisation I am proud to have trained to be a women’s coach with. Principle 10 – you can’t thrive unless you’re connected with others. Bit of a game changer for me to be honest. I was raised to be independent. To not need anyone else to be happy. Of course there is merit in that. Happiness doesn’t come from anyone or anything else. Not real, lasting, truly fulfilling happiness anyway. It comes from within. But independence for me turned into internalising my ‘flaws’, trying to do it all on my own, believing that the slightest chink in my armour would show the world how entirely incompetent I really was.
It’s when you let in that connection that you notice how deeply entrenched the ‘independence’ has become. A disconnection from others has now rooted in a disconnection from yourself. From what really makes you happy, who you really are as opposed to who you think you should be. A disconnection from your body which, instead of being revered for the vessel that enables your brilliance in the world, is neglected and ignored as you push on to be the best, achieve and progress.
Yes, I think we can do amazing things by being connected to each other. In fact it’s probably the only way we’ll achieve the scale of change that needs to happen. But, we can’t ignore the connection we need to have with ourselves. Our minds. Our bodies. Ever ignored your hunger / tiredness / thirst to finish off a piece of work? Ever felt something in the pit of your stomach but brushed it off as irrational? Ever felt an intense emotion but suppressed it as wrong or inappropriate? This is disconnect in action. It’s a censored version of who you are meant to be, who you know deep down you really want to be.
And so this Valentine’s month, by all means connect with love. Love for others, of course. But also love for yourself. Try asking yourself:
- What can I do to connect with my body this month, to really listen to what it has to tell me?
- What can I do to connect with my thinking, and have it steer me towards what I want instead of away from what I don’t?
- What connections with other people are draining my energy and time, that it would do me well to let go of?
- What connections with other people do I have that enable me to be my true self, and nourish me, and how can I make more of these?
I’d love (see what I did there?) to connect with you and hear how you get on. Use the details below to get in touch and feel free to share the love (of this blog) far and wide 😉